RKSK Strikes Back!
It's flu season at Reed, oh yes indeed - the campus is one big cough nowadays. But never fear! The communists are here! In a supreme breach of pseudo-security, I shall publish the communique regarding the fantastic anti-sickness table in the library lobby:
"kounter revolutionary bourgeoisie kapitalist agitators (pretty mutsh the worst kind of kapitalist agitator) have unleashed the flu virus upon our skool in an effort to inkrease sales of their flu vakkines! but fear not, the state is well prepared for germ warfare. we have stokked the library lobby with vitamin k [by which we mean vitamin c, as you may have guessed --ed.] tablets, orange juice, kleenex, sterile latex gloves,airborne, khikken (ramen) noodle soup... feel free to leave a get well soon kard on the table for a komrade. unfortunately, unlike the bountiful stim table, supplies are limited; kome quikkly! and klean up after yourselves! and finish your damned midterms!"
I love this school - my nose is blown and as I walk my pockets jingle merrily with the sounds of chewable Vitamin C tablets.