A Tribute to Jay Mellies

This is a tribute to my Microbiology professor, Jay Mellies. Now, before you scoff, I want you to understand that this man is hilarious. He has this big ol’ ears that stick out, he’s a bit jumpy and often awkward, but he knows his bacteria and dammit, he’s a funny guy. A sampling of Jay quotes, fresh from the lecture hall:
“Fructose, sucrose glucose, thiscose, thatcose.”
Gonorrhea is a type IV pili, as it attaches to your genital system and them transfers genetic information “like nobody’s business.”
“Why study bacteria? They’re fun and exciting, and they’ll kill you.”
“We’re gonna vortex the daylights outta this thing.”
Osmolarity??? “It’s water activity dammit!”
“This cute little squid lives off the coast of Hawaii” (voice from the crowd: “Hawaii has a lot of coasts, Jay.”) “Dammit, it lives off the coast!”
Plus, he taught us how to make root beer, so we'll be popping the caps on our homemade fizzy goodness in a couple weeks. "It's a simple aerobic fermentation."